


Waiting For You to Wake Up

by technicallyataurus



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005), Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV 1981)
Genre: Alien dog, Established Relationship, Fighting, M/M, Space Gays, also I've forgotten how to tag things sorry, argument, arthur's a jerk but he doesn't realize it, inappropriately named space dog, they yell at each other a lot sorry, this is a fever dream of a story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-27 23:58:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16712521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technicallyataurus/pseuds/technicallyataurus
Summary: In the years Arthur had been with Ford, they had never had a serious fight. Like, not an actual couples fight. Arthur supposed their spats over Arthur’s random acts of semi-bravery and Ford’s near constant cowardice could be called fights, but their relationship had never been endangered by those disagreements. For a pair that bickered as much as they did, they had never really faced any serious relationship problems.Until now.And it was all over a stupid dog.in short, Ford tries to be a Good Partner(tm) and Arthur mucks it all up (as usual). Enjoy! title from "How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful" by Florence + The Machine.





	Waiting For You to Wake Up

**Author's Note:**

> hello! I'm back. I don't really know if this is any good (I wrote a good bit of it around midnight and I don't have a proofreader) but it's a lot different from my first fic. I didn't try and imitate Adams this time because I was lazy, and it's kinda sappy at the end. sorry about that lol. This fic may have a second part coming, depending on how much you guys like this one. also, "How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful" reaaaallllly makes me think of these boys, idk why. anyway, here it is, I hope you enjoy! let me know if there are any typos and please leave a comment if you liked it!! (or if you didn't and you REALLY wanna let me know lol) thank you, and enjoy!

In the years Arthur had been with Ford, they had never had a serious fight. Like, not an actual couples fight. Arthur supposed their spats over Arthur’s random acts of semi-bravery and Ford’s near constant cowardice could be called fights, but their relationship had never been endangered by those disagreements. For a pair that bickered as much as they did, they had never really faced any serious relationship problems.

Until now.

And it was all over a stupid dog.

***

Arthur was jolted out of bed by a loud noise. A loud, somewhat shrill noise that seemed to take the shape of his name.

“ARTHUUURRRR!” Ah, there it was. Ford called for him again. “Arthur, are you awake? If you are, come to the bridge! I wanna show you something!”

Arthur sighed and rolled over, hoping if he ignored the calls, Ford would quit yelling. It was probably some far-off nebula shaped like a penis. “ARTHUUURR!” Damn.

“I’m coming,” Arthur grunted, “I’M COMING!” He heard Ford squeal at an annoyingly high pitch. Arthur rolled out of bed and wiggled his feet into the new slippers Ford had bought him and shuffled out of the bedroom.

He was met in the corridor by Ford, who was bouncing excitedly toward him. “Arthur, c’mon, he’s not gonna stay forever!” Ford grabbed Arthur by the hand and began dragging him to the bridge.

He?, Arthur thought. “Is Zaphod’s great-great-whatever granddad on the ship again? Because I’d have preferred to remain sleeping if so.”

Ford laughed loudly, one of the genuine ones that Arthur heard rather rarely. “Did you know he was my great-great-whatever aunt?”

Arthur shrugged. “Well it doesn’t surprise me, you and Zaphod are related after all--wait, aunt?” Arthur said incredulously. 

“C’mon!” was all he got in reply.

Ford and Arthur had been travelling on their own for about a year now, Arthur guessed--time didn’t quite pass the same in space as it did on Earth, but he liked to try and keep track anyway. They had bought (read: conned a very drunk old man into giving it to them) this spaceship a few months ago after the old one gave up on life on Eroticon 4 (an altogether horrible planet to be stranded on) after Ford had crashed it into a large porn advertisement sign when he got distracted by Arthur strolling onto the bridge fresh out of the shower. Being from Eroticon 4, the interior had been painted bright pink and green and purple and other hideous colors Arthur couldn’t quite name, so they painted over the walls in white. The vibrant colors were still visible in some places in the ship, however. The bridge got painted a sleek black and white scheme, messed up by the huge blotch of red paint on the floor in the center where Arthur had tripped over his own feet trying to take the paint can off the bridge.

Ford leapt into the black and white bridge with an excited “Ta-dah!” as Arthur followed meekly behind. He glanced about the bridge. He didn’t notice any phallic nebulas or long-dead uncles (or aunts, for that matter), and was about to ask what was different when he saw it.

“What the hell’s that?!” Arthur shouted, taking several steps back.

“Yip!” the creature replied. Sitting in the center of the red paint splash was a small furry thing that both closely resembled a dog and looked nothing like one. It looked like what a particularly imaginative five-year-old might come up with when asked to draw an alien dog. It had six eyes and legs and two things that appeared to be tails. Arthur’s brain was having a tough time deciding if the two purple things coming from its mouth were two separate tongues or one long forked one. The creature yipped again, its rear-end wiggling with excitement.

“It’s a dog!” Ford exclaimed with a huge grin. He let out a strange, alien whistle and the “dog” came running to him, leaping up to lick him in the face. It then turned to charge at Arthur, panting gleefully.

Arthur squealed and tried to dodge it. “And whose is it? That Eddie bloke?”

“Ours!” Ford chirped. “You said we should get something living to take with us, and I know you really liked the one you had back on Earth, so… I got one! What do you want to name him? I was thinking--”

“Ford!” Arthur exclaimed. The smaller man stiffened very slightly. “Ford, just… stop.” Arthur said, exasperated. “I never said I wanted a dog, what made you think that? Why’d you get a dog? I--”

“You said you wanted something living!” Ford protested. “And you love dogs!”

“I meant a plant, Ford! A plant! And this--” Arthur gestured vaguely at the creature Ford had scooped up. “Is neither a plant, nor a dog!”

Ford’s face fell slightly. “Wait,” he said quietly. “You don’t like him?”

Arthur sighed. “I mean, I never said… I--Ford, look I--”  
“I was trying to be nice and give you a gift like you always go on about!” Ford whined. “Why don’t you like him? What’s wrong with him?”

“... Ford, I--”

“No!” Ford snapped. “Tell me!”

“... Ford, he’s got six eyes.”

“That’s what’s wrong? You don’t like his eyes?”

“Well, no, but--”

“What is it then? What the hell did I do this time?”

“That’s just it Ford!” Arthur shouted. “This isn’t the first time you’ve pulled some dumb, impulsive stunt that could significantly impact our lives without consulting me! You do this all the time, and I’m sick of it!” Arthur winced at his words. Ford didn’t exactly take criticism well, and those words were harsh for anyone to hear.

Ford just stared at him, unblinking. He looked defeated. “I was just trying to be a good partner,” he said, “but fine. I will go hide away so you never have to see me again, and I’ll take Fondue with me.”

Arthur shook his head in confusion. “F-Fondue?”

Ford looked at him as if he were dense. “The dog. I’ve named him Fondue.”

Arthur blinked. “Ford, that’s a terrible name f--”

“You don’t want him? You don’t get input on his name.” Ford lifted his chin in defiance. “And you don’t get to sleep in our room. Fondue and I will be our own little weird, alien family, and we won’t need you at all.” With that, Ford stomped off the bridge, down the hall, and into the bedroom with a squirming puppy held tight in his wiry arms.

Arthur hugged and made his way to the kitchen. It seemed silly to him that ford was upset--it was his fault, he brought the thing on board! Arthur muttered this to the empty kitchen as he made a cup of sort-of-tea. Ford was just never in touch with Arthur’s emotions and needs! Arthur sipped out of the heart mug Ford had bought him a little while ago. The sort-of-tea-leaf-mixture Ford had bought him months ago tasted remarkably like Earth tea, if a bit stronger. Watered down or with milk, he could almost pretend the Earth had never been destroyed, and he was at home with his dog, his normal dog, having a nice relaxing cuppa…

With no Ford in sight. Before the damnable Vogons had come, Ford had just been a strange friend of Arthur’s. Arthur hadn’t regarded him overly highly.

Something tugged at Arthur’s mind, something dark. When it hit him, he choked on his not-quite-tea.

If he had known the Vogons were coming, he wouldn’t have saved Ford. Ford would have been very far down on his list of people to save--hell, Arthur probably would have taken his dog over Ford! But Ford had chosen Arthur. Out of all the people on Earth, Ford chose Arthur. And still, out of all of the interesting people and creatures in the universe, Ford stuck by Arthur. He bought him slippers and coffee mugs and not-quite-tea and a dog, for God’s sake. And what did Arthur do for Ford?

Yell at him for it. Arthur’s face flushed with shame when he realized that he was being the neglectful partner, not Ford. Arthur sat his mug down, fiddling the sleeves of his bathrobe. How the hell was he going to apologize to Ford? Arthur rubbed at his face in frustration. He felt sick. All he could think about was the disappointment in Ford’s eyes and the way he clung to the dog as he had fled to the bedroom. Arthur tried to plan an apology in his head, but instead found his feet shuffling off toward the bedroom of their own accord.

Arthur just wasn’t ready for any more change. He had finally become accustomed to his life with Ford, going about the galaxy in search of fun and good drinks, finding new ways to pass the time while traveling through open space, rubbing Ford’s shoulders whilst he wrote drafts for his Guide entries, Ford rubbing his… well. No need to think about that right now. Especially since Ford likely wouldn’t be touching any of Arthur for a while unless Arthur went in and fixed this quickly.

Before he had really processed it, Arthur was standing at the door to the bedroom. The door opened and Arthur stepped in warily. The door made no noise--Ford had been able to overrule the GPP technology and get the doors to stop sighing upon being opened--but Ford mumbled quietly, “I told you you’re sleeping in the other room, monkeyman.”

The lights were dim, but still bright enough for Arthur to make out the shape of his partner. Ford was partially onder covers, cuddled up to the animal, both of their eyes closed. Arthur loved how Ford looked when his eyes were closed. Peaceful. Less high-strung. His eyes were puffy now, though, and his shoulders shook in a muted way, as if he were trying desperately to keep them still.

“I’m sorry, Ford,” Arthur said in a burst of originality, making his way over to the bed.

Ford and the dog’s eyes shot open. “You sure are,” Ford spat, voice rough, “Sorriest person I’ve ever known.”

Arthur sighed. “I know. I deserved that. But look, Ford, I am sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ve been a total arsehole to you.” Ford snorted and closed his eyes again, the dog doing the same. Arthur attempted to compose his thoughts. “Ford, look.” Arthur sat at the foot of the bed slowly, as if not to provoke the pair. Ford’s eyes remained closed, as did the dog’s. Arthur stared at the wall and took a deep breath. “I love traveling with you. Okay? You were right. The universe is a fun place, and I love that you and I can be together in it, no matter how improbable it might be. But it took some adjusting, okay? And it wasn’t until recently I really became, well…” Arthur lost his train of thought and coughed. He was about as good at expressing his emotions as a round of Brie cheese. “...comfortable with our lifestyle. I finally started to fully enjoy myself. And I wasn’t ready for any… well, any change. And a dog is a big change!” He glanced at Ford. The man’s eyes were open, staring at Arthur, unreadable. Arthur coughed uncomfortably. “It’s a huge responsibility. But…” He stared back at the wall. “But, I guess… I guess I need to learn to live outside my comfort zone and compromise with you. Because you’re wonderful, Ford, you really are.” Arthur turned to Ford and put a hesitant hand on Ford’s thigh. Ford glanced mutely at it before returning his attention to Arthur. “Ford, you are so good to me, and I don’t even realize it. And I know you’d love to be doing crazier things than what we do, but you hold back because of me. And I can’t thank you enough. And I think it’s time for me as a partner to start to try and compromise with you and to try and make you happy.”

Ford stared at Arthur. Arthur stared at Ford. The dog stared at Arthur and licked its teeth. After a moment of tense silence, Ford said, “What do you mean?”

Arthur sighed heavily. “I mean, Ford,” he said, “that we’re keeping the dog.”

Ford gave a strange shrug. “I was keeping the dog no matter what. What else do you mean?”

Arthur stared at Ford, swallowing heavily. “That-that… I’m sorry?” Ford raised an eyebrow. “And that…” Arthur took a steadying breath. It wasn’t the first time he had said this to Ford, but it was especially hard to say it with Ford’s piercing eyes staring him down. “That I love you.”

Everything was still for a moment. Arthur wondered if he had actually said the words aloud. He opened his mouth to say them again when Ford blinked. This threw Arthur off, as Ford never blinked. Then he blinked again. And again. And then Arthur realized Ford was blinking back tears. Arthur began to pull back the hand that was on Ford’s thigh, concerned, but then Ford sat up quickly and reached for Arthur, grabbing him by the lapels of his dressing gown and pulling him down into a kiss. Arthur tumbled onto Ford, the dog letting out a yip of surprise and hopping off the bed to clear the way as the pair collapsed back into the mattress, limbs entwined in a confusing yet delicate fashion. They moved together slowly, but not gently--Ford’s hand made its way into Arthur’s hair and latched on tight, and Arthur gripped Ford’s side in a manner that might result in bruises, but neither seemed to care. Finally, they parted a little, Ford pulling back with a small gasp to stare into Arthur’s eyes.

“I love you too,” he said, which sent a thrill down Arthur’s spine. Arthur tried to kiss him again, but Ford stopped him and gazed intensely at him.

“And I forgive you.” Arthur stared for a moment before collapsing into Ford’s arms, his head in the crook of Ford’s neck as he snaked his arms around the man and drew him close.

“Thank you,” he mumbled into Ford’s skin, repeating it quietly as Ford hugged him back, running his skeletal hands up and down the Arthur’s back soothingly. They remained like this for a while longer, finding comfort in each other, before the dog jumped back up on the bed and broke it up. Ford laughed as Arthur tried reluctantly to pet the dog, who licked his hand with its forked tongue and barked happily. They played with the dog for another half-hour or so before Arthur got curious.

“Hey Ford?” he said. Ford hummed his acknowledgement. “Are we really naming it Fondue?”

Ford smiled serenely at him. “If you want to stay with me we are.”

Arthur sighed resignedly. “I’ll go make him some food, I guess,” he said, getting up with a groan.”

“Bring me back a gynnan tonix, will you?” Ford called impishly, before turning his attention back to the dog.

Arthur stood at the doorway, watching his partner giggle at the strange dog and its antics with a fond smile. Perhaps he’d never quite understand Ford. But he knew he couldn’t stand to be without him.

He still didn’t like the name Fondue, though.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! me again. please leave a comment or a kudos if you enjoyed! kudos are much appreciated but comments absolutely make my day. thanks!!! :)


End file.
